Zen For Life

"Zen mind is our true nature."


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What Is Anger? – 6 Important Things To Know

In Buddhism, anger is one of the three poisons – the other two are greed and ignorance – that are the primary causes of the cycle of samsara and rebirth. Purifying ourselves of anger is essential to Buddhist practice.

Understanding what anger really is the first step to deal with your anger. Here is something about anger that you may not know. Learn to grow.

1. Anger is Something Created By Yourself.

It’s important to understand that anger is something created by yourself. It didn’t come swooping out of the ether to infect you. We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such as other people or frustrating events. It is not very true.

“No one makes you angry. You make yourself angry.”

2. Anger is Self-Defensive.

Buddhism teaches us that anger is created by mind. However, when you are dealing with your own anger, you should be more specific. Anger challenges us to look deeply into ourselves. Most of the time, anger is self-defensive. It arises from unresolved fears or when our ego-buttons are pushed.

3. Anger is not “REAL”.

As Buddhists we recognize that ego, fear and anger are insubstantial and ephemeral, not “real.” They’re ghosts, in a sense. Allowing anger to control our actions amounts to being bossed around by ghosts.

4. Anger Is Self-Indulgent.

Anger is unpleasant but seductive. There’s something delicious about finding fault with something. Especially when our egos are involved (which is nearly always the case), we may protect our anger. We justify it and even feed it.

5. Express Your Anger Is Only Feeding The Seed Of Anger.

When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that’s not true. When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you. Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.

6. Allowing Anger Control You Is The Weakness.

Sometimes we confuse aggression with strength and non-action with weakness. Buddhism teaches that just the opposite is true.

Giving in to the impulses of anger, allowing anger to hook us and jerk us around, is weakness. On the other hand, it takes strength to acknowledge the fear and selfishness in which our anger usually is rooted. It also takes discipline to meditate in the flames of anger.

Did you learn something new about anger?

Let me know what you think about this post.


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Guided Meditation: 6 Simple Steps on Stress Reduction

Adjustment is always needed since our environment constantly changes. Thus, it affects both the emotional and physical aspects of the person creating either negative or positive feelings. This can result to stress.

Stress is a part of everyday lives since time immemorial. But if an influence is positive, stress can motivate a person to an action resulting to a new consciousness and a stimulating new perspective.

But if the influence is negative, stress can create a feeling of rejection, distrust, depression, and anger. In return, health problems can be developed such as an upset stomach, headaches, insomnia, rashes, heart disease, stroke, ulcers, and high blood pressure. People can experience stress during a job promotion, new relationship, child birth, or death of a person close to them.

Stress can hinder or help people depending on their reactions to the circumstances of life. It does not matter if all are positive stresses since it adds excitement and anticipation to life. But somehow competitions, deadlines, frustrations, sorrows, and confrontations also add enrichment and depth to life.

You don’t need to get rid of stress. All you need to do is manage it in a way that it can give you benefits.

Remember that…

“Insufficient stress can act as depressants letting you feel dejected or bored. While excessive stress lets you feel stocked.”

To avoid stress build ups, you can try meditation. Besides it being cool to do, you can obtain an immediate calming effect regardless of your meditation posture. In this manner, you can reduce your stress.

1. Practice Your Breathing

Practicing your breathing is the first process you should learn. If you observe that stress is starting to disturb you, just do a couple of light breathing. Concentrate on your breathing quality. Make sure that it’s light and still. Then slowly breathe deeper.

2. Balance your Posture

The next step is to balance your posture and make it even, head up and back straight. Most people who are stressed out often do a slouching posture while frowning.

3. Clear your Thoughts

Start to imagine that you are swimming in relaxing waves. Feel the flowing waves in your consciousness that is taking away all you stress and anxiety. Make sure your body receives the constant flow of the waves.

4. Find the Root Causes and Deal with It Immediately

Acknowledge your stress and review its root causes. This is a very important step. Denying stress in the meditation process is not good. Clearly speak to your mind that…

“The stress is true but you have the capacity to handle it by thinking straight and finding ways to deal and cope up with it immediately.”

5. Repeat the statement for 10 minutes

Repeat this statement during your meditation process for at least ten minutes or more. Then take control of your stress totally. Think of the person who caused you such stress and made you out of control. Control your mind and remove the stress from it.

6. You have the Right to Be a Peaceful and Free Mind

Finally, concentrate on a decision that you have the right to a peaceful and free mind and nobody can say or do anything against this right, as you end the meditation process. Every time you need meditation, just dictate this decision to your mind.

These steps can do something to change your outlook whenever stress disturbs you. Never be afraid to try, just believe on the benefits that it will give you in the end.


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Is Your Anger Affecting Your Work, Personal Relationships, and Overall Life Quality?

Anger is normal as it is a healthy, human emotion. However, problems ensue when it gets uncontrollable and turns destructive. Uncontrollable anger as among the top and common behavior problems usually affect work, personal relationships, and overall life quality. Thus, there is a need for anger management training.

Psychologists have established that it is just natural for some people to become more hot-headed than others.

There are two kinds of people when it comes to anger.

Which one are you?

A person who easily get angry,
with greater anger intensity

OR

A person who are good at
controlling and concealing anger

This strong emotion is often categorized as among the common causes of disruptive behavior problems whether in adults or in children. You should notice that when anger becomes one of your behavior problems.

If you tend to be angered more easily, you should start seeking anger management techniques especially when you start withdrawing socially. You may have lower tolerance for frustration and you may easily take violent and unlikely reactions when confronted by the feeling.

“Behavior problem should be conquered and controlled immediately before it takes matters more seriously.”

Here are some strategies to help you keep anger-related behavior problems at bay.

1. Just Relax

Anger-induced behavior problems could easily be resolved by simply relaxing.

“Take a deep breath then imagine happy images.”

This strategy has been proven to be effective in calming angry people and making ‘hot heads’ cool.

2. Change The Way You Normally Think.

Restructure your cognition.

For example,

“Instead of cursing and yelling,  just sit down and think of more positive thoughts when feeling angry.”

It could literally make you a ‘monster’ in the eyes and perception of people around you.

3. Think Solution Instead of Being Angry.

Try to improve your problem solving skills. Frustration and anger are often caused by inescapable and troubling problems.

Bear in mind that…

“Anger will not in any way help you fix problems.”

If you could devise ways to effectively and systematically solve those problems, you could find yourself also controlling anger problems.

4. Stop Saying Your First Thought In Your Head. Think First. 

When you get angry, try to avoid blurting out initial thoughts that come from your head. Learn to self-edit.

“Slow down what you want to say. “

Slow down and carefully assess things you want to say before screaming them out.

5. Develop Your Communication Skill.

Here is the opportunity for you to improve better communication skills.

“Try to listen well to what other people want to say.”

Then talk calmly back. Sometimes the over-heated argument is just a misunderstanding.

6. Avoid Any Occasion of Anger.

If you think attending a social gathering, going to a specific venue, or doing certain activities would only make you uncontrollably angry try your best to avoid them. This would help you prevent getting angry especially in front of many people.

“Do not do if you don’t want to do. Do not go if you don’t want to go.”

Instead, you could opt to go to other laid-back places, enjoy your time alone at home, or do other pleasant activities that would help keep your mood okay.

7. Stop Drinking Alcohol. 

Do not drink alcohol if it usually makes you violent. As the old saying goes, “In wine there is truth.” You may not be aware but you could still carry your anger even after getting drunk. Worse!

Be aware that…

“Your strong negative feelings are amplified when you drink.”

Most people with behavior problems are advised by professionals to avoid getting drunk first and foremost.

Try these tips when you are feeling angry at someone.

If you are looking for more advice, here is a great audio program for anger management by Dr. William who has been helping people for 35 years as a professional.